Beautiful new things, bitter sweet lies.

Some of you may or may not know that I was working at the salon as well as a hotel, but as of recently I've been offered a great position as a manager at one of the salon's locations. I couldn't be happier about this! So much more time with my baby girl, I can catch up on the things I've been missing out on. I've just always envisioned the exact mom I wanted to be to my kids. But what you forget to take into accountability is the difficulties and trials of doing it alone. Single parents, moms and dads, are not credited enough for what they do. Providing for them, and taking on the responsibilities of growing up don't compliment being a stay at home mother. That isn't something possible when you are alone. And that breaks my heart day in and day out. Countless days I would be so emotionally exhausted and be devastated over missing the new things Bostyn was continually learning and doing. As her mother I wanted to be the one she was around 24/7 who took her to the park, dressed her up in hot pink, let her experience things for the first time- together. And I was missing out on that so much, I was no where near what I had envisioned myself being as Bostyns mother figure. So basically what I am getting to is, I cannot wait to cut out one of my jobs and spend more time with her. God trusted me with such a wonderful and beautiful gift- everything she is to become and has to learn is my responsibility. Such a lively burden but such an amazing reward. I've longed to teach Bostyn all the important things that start at such a young age. She watches my every move and I need to be an example to her, my daughters success and outlook on life depends on me, my actions, my lessons to be taught. I can't wait to be that role model to her. With that being said, I really want to expand on something most people dismiss casually now days it seems.. I want girls to know the importance of being smart about the decisions they make as teenagers. None of us are perfect, we make mistakes, things happen. But that does NOT mean that what we are in control of can't be taken advantage of. Girls, woman- all of you. Be smart about the decisions you make, don't think for one second that raising a child at a young age is easy, it is anything but. People mistake pregnancy for something "fun" its almost as if its a trendy thing to do. I'm not asking, I'm begging you to realize the consequences of your actions. It is nobodies ideal situation to raise a child alone, to have to give her to her father every other weekend. To not be able to tuck your little princess in to bed together as a family every night. To literally be heartbroken that your child has to be raised in a split home, knowing its your actions that have caused your child to suffer. I just want to create awareness of these things. Don't think that because you see someone dress up their baby in cute clothes, carry them around with them, do activities with their toddlers, that that is the reality of it. Because its not, there is so much more to it than that.There is selfish reasoning within it as well, things most girls don't want to admit because they're afraid of how it will make them look as a mother. So I'll be the one to say it. Naturally as a young mom you are forced to grow up, take on responsibility of a child when you yourself is still a baby, so you are going to feel like you have missed out on things other girls did not. You are no longer able to up and leave at any given moment, whether that be to just run to the store or go out with all your friends. The simplest of tasks because quite the difficult one when you have the responsibility of a child, but you need to put your child first and have to make that ultimate sacrifice and its not easy. Realize this girls. Recognize that you don't want to hurt over not being able to be the perfect mother you've always envisioned yourself to be. Realize at times you will be torn about being left out of your circle of friends because you have moved onto bigger things, grown up stuff. And your friends are just doing what they've always known. Life doesn't stop for you, it doesn't sit around waiting for you to grow up. Waiting for you to have your fun and then hit the resume button again. So if I can just give a little hint of advice it would be plain and simple. Just wait. Wait for the time that you can share it with someone significant to you, wait to be able to financially, emotionally, physically, and mentally be able to support your children. It will be worth it. I promise.